January Show Stopper: Unicorns Do Exist

January is a weird unicorn of a month. The holidays are over and people find themselves thinking, well I wish I had something to celebrate. This year, ZuZu at the Hotel Valley Ho did that. They gave us the Unicorn Show Stopper Shake. Again. And really, bless them for that. Then, better yet, they asked us to come in and enjoy it on your behalf and who are we to say no? (We didn’t. We said OF COURSE! and also THANK YOU!)

This colorful shake is such an amazing feat. We are so happy/relieved they brought it back.


The Unicorn Show Stopper Shake has a mixed berry ice cream base and is topped with a funfetti cupcake, lollipops, birthday cake frosting, marshmallows, cotton candy, and (if you ask us.) the pièce de résistance, a white chocolate dipped waffle cone. The whole thing is like an inverted ice cream dream.

Imagine going to Disneyland. Now imagine the ticket is only $14. That’s the kind of magic the Unicorn Show Stopper Shake offered us this January. It’s sugar overload, right when you need it most.

The Show Stopper Shake is huge. As always. And when it comes to the table you want to dig right in, but the proper procedure is to really admire it for a minute. When’s the last time you ordered a dessert that came with its own dessert?

The funfetti cake was soft and delicate and while we had never before thought of dipping a cupcake into a milkshake, the idea came quite naturally to us while we ate the shake. Drank the shake? No, this is a hefty sweet that is not for the light of heart. You eat the milkshake. You eat it right up. Sipping is for a wimpy shake, a far less superior shake. This thing is thick and melts slowly because it’s so packed with berries and flavor. And the fruit makes it healthy. Right? Fitting in with another January favorite: healthy resolutions.

If you must know, Bitches Food Club only had one resolution this year: no resolutions. Just reservations. And we suggest you make one for ZuZu so you can experience the January Unicorn Show Stopper Shake before it’s gone again! You have until January 31, 2019 to get a taste of the rainbow.

If you happen to go to ZuZu, you know, since you’re there anyway, might we recommend getting brunch? We have a few staples we just love to order when we’re there. We like to pretend eating brunch before something sweet balances out the calories. Please, don’t correct us if we’re wrong.

We love to start out with the avocado toast but we ask for it with smoked salmon. It’s a little trick nobody really talks about, but we’re spilling the truths here. Plus, avocado toast + smoked salmon is just so much prettier to look at, and you know, you eat with your eyes first.


We also love the crispy duck confit. Some people are scared of duck! We say, no, don’t be. Not only is duck fat so much better for you than most the fat in most meats (that’s true, we swear we heard that on Food Network somewhere), but the flavors in this dish are a delight. We love this with an over-medium egg so we get a runny yolk, but you do you when you order. However, we never tire of getting a little bit of duck, a little bit of yolk, a lot of the calabrian chili “tater tot” and then dipping the whole fork in the tarragon citrus butter sauce before we take a bite. Try it for yourself!KD9A8773

If you’ve never had the Cereal Milk Stuffed French Toast at ZuZu, stop wasting perfectly good brunch weekends. This plate gives you fruity pebble milk crumb, cereal milk pastry cream, maple syrup, and whipped cream and then calls it BREAKFAST. It tastes like when you’re a kid and you dream about the perfect breakfast. Guess what? Now that you’re an adult you actually get to eat it. You also have to pay taxes and stuff, but you know, there’s a ying and a yang to life. Namaste.


You only have one more week to scoop up this gigantic celebration of magic and 2019, so run (to burn calories, but also because there isn’t much time) to ZuZu and order this delicious treat. You’ll be berry delighted. See what we did there?

KD9A8776Hotel Valley Ho

6850 East Main Street

Scottsdale, AZ 85251

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