When the Hotel Valley Ho invited us to their restaurant ZuZu to partake in brunch and one of their “Show Stopper” shakes… you know the one, the big one, that’s obscured by so many goodies you have to really dig for the ice cream… we ate healthy for three whole days so we didn’t feel bad when we said, “Yes!”
If you haven’t been to brunch at ZuZu, it’s a treat. For one, the restaurant is retro and fun, immediately transporting you back to a time when you could totally smoke while drinking your coffee, and two, the menu offers items you don’t normally see at say, your local pancake house that may be international. Oh, and three, they have a massive bloody Mary bar.
Sharon, our waitress, who was like our second mom/favorite aunt immediately, brought us a basket of warm scones as we sat down.
What would you do if I gave you a basket of scones? I don’t want to say we ate some and shoved the rest in our pockets for later (there were only two of us, and many warm, chocolate chip and cranberry scones) but it was something like that. Just kidding. Sharon gave us a box! We aren’t animals! Like, we may be bitches, but our moms taught us manners. (And full disclosure, my mother actually sent me to finishing school so I can teach you about every fork on the table if you need me to.)
The menu covers all your bases, as most hotel restaurants tend to. We ordered avocado toast to start, followed by the egg’s Benedict and duck confit.
First of all, each dish came out warm. This is not something that happens a lot at when you go for brunch. Buffets, sit down, quick/casual, it doesn’t matter, your eggs are usually cold, but not here. What a pleasure.
The toast was beautiful -sorry but it was- and featured a favorite snack of many a woman; Marcona almonds. We took a lot of joy in eating toast immediately after eating scones. We wouldn’t change that memory for anything.
The eggs Benedict came with a lovely side of potatoes, which we promptly dipped in ketchup (sorry not sorry, #ketchup4ever) and ate. The duck confit was truly delicious and had just enough spice to make it interesting, but not over the top. It also came with this ‘tater tot’ situation that seemed to be a cheesy ball of mashed potatoes, fried, and I could have eaten about sixteen more of those if I’d had the chance or if the Show Stopper shake wasn’t about to descend upon our table like a dementor trying to ruin a game of Quidditch, except instead of Quidditch, it was our stable blood sugar levels.
First of all, be prepared when you order this. A few things you should know.
- They take a while. Order it immediately when you sit down. This isn’t like, oh, I blended a thing and now it’s a thing, this is like, delicate and it takes time to stack together miniature pieces of pie and marshmallow like a Jenga game.
- They’re huge. Like you know they’re big, but this thing is BIG and when it’s brought to your table people stare at you. Especially if you have to take like 100 photos of it before you eat it, like we did.
- You will eat more than you say you will. “No,” you say, “I won’t because I have will-power.” Nope, you will, because they’re quite tasty and fun to eat.
When our pièce de résistance came, a giant salted caramel pumpkin spiced milkshake, you would have thought we were Angelina Jolie. Everyone turned to watch us dig into a tall glass filled to the brim with ice cream that had PUMPKIN PIE INSIDE IT as well as OUTSIDE of it, mini pies, regular size pie, caramel, marshmallow, and pie crust crumble all topped with a fall spice whipped cream.
When you’re seven, it’s like your dream to eat ice cream at breakfast, when you’re an adult who can eat whatever they want whenever they want, it becomes your reality.
You can have this, too! The Show Stopper shake changes MONTHLY with a new theme and for $16 between 11:00 am and 11:00 pm, the dream can be yours. We highly recommend bringing at least two other people with you, unless sugar-induced diabetes is like kind of your thing.
Bitches Food Club 