The Foodie Gift Guide 4 Normals (And Also People Who Like Food 2): A Holiday Spectacular in 7 Parts


We get it. Your roommate cooks and you don’t. There’s a knife in your kitchen your husband doesn’t want you to touch (and you’re 32). Your girlfriend (and your mom??) is super into some guy named Bobby Flay and you’re gonna beat up that guy when you meet him!

Sounds like you know some food enthusiasts. 

What a fickle bunch we are.

Chances are you put off getting our gifts.

AND THAT IS FINE because while it’s true any gift can be a last minute gift if you use Amazon Prime thoughtfully, it can be especially difficult to buy your foodie friends gifts that don’t like, you know, spoil before you can give gift them for Christmas (or Hanukkah or Russian Christmas). Don’t worry, we’ve rounded up a few gifts you can give away… or keep for yourself because they’re pretty great. By the end of this, you just might find out you’re a “foodie,” too.

Hostess gift: The Pineapplekoko_aleko_tanqgoldpineapple

A sign of hospitality, the pineapple is as trendy as it is thoughtful. Why not show how much you appreciate someone by giving your hostess a pineapple made of metal with which they can fill with the libations of their choice? Prices range from reasonable to extremely generous but all are perfect for a cocktail year round. (May we recommend this one for the hostess with the mostess?)

Friend Gift: Something Easy to Put in Their Mouth


Oh, Baileys. Baileys never disappoints. The aged whiskey and cream with a hint of chocolate is a delightful way to make the yuletide merry and bright and a little dizzy, but in a good way. Apply it to just about any setting and you have a party. Splash it over ice as a digestif, zip it in a whipped cream, or as dash it into freshly brewed espresso Christmas morning because well, why not? It’s a holiday. Need something for your pregnant friend? Don’t worry, these chocolates give the taste of Baileys without the alcohol.


Baker Gift: A Good GREAT Tool


Bench scrapers are an often overlooked kitchen tool, but once you realize how amazing they are, it’ll be your favorite. The Khloe of the kitchen, if you will. Bench scrapers are perfect for picking up chopped vegetables for dinner, scraping excess flour from your board, and cutting bread dough into the perfect size pieces for baking. Starting at less than $10, it’s the gift that keeps on giving… until someone steals it out of your kitchen because it’s awesome.

The Coffee Addict: Give the Gift of Energy


For the friend who can’t stop talking about how amazing their aeropress is, go ahead and get them a subscription to caffeine, arguably the greatest legal drug of all. Why not make their heart skip a beat with an assortment of beans from the best coffee shops in the Seattle? For three months they’ll never run out of coffee or energy and they’ll get to brag that their beans come from the coffee capital of the world.

The Significant Other: Umami overload


We tend to go overboard with our significant others because, well, we love them. Most of the time. This suggestion assumes you got The Big Gift out of the way and just need a couple stocking stuffers and you know, things you can both enjoy together. We think the holidays are a time of decadence and you shouldn’t hold back on flavor or your privilege to buy expensive mustard. So why not do both with truffle mustard? It can jazz up a cheese board or a sandwich in one swipe of a knife or create the richest mustard vinaigrette you’ve ever had in your life. Yes! Those weird black things that sell for a million damn dollars really are worth the fuss. In fact, you’re gonna wanna spring for the bigger mustard jar. Trust us. You deserve it. We mean… they deserve.

Your Mother and Father in Law: The Perfectly Executed Gift


All happy families are alike, which means you’re not the only person who has to bring a gift to the couple who created the person you’re sleeping with. Make them forget you’ve seen their child naked by bringing the best cutting board money has to offer to the holiday dinner. It’ll put you on their good side right away.

The Chocolate Addict: Decadent Bites


The holidays are about three things: 1. bad holiday movies on Lifetime, 2. QVC presentations, and 3. indulging in a few treats. Okay sure, two of those are TV but you can totally do number 3 while also doing 1 & 2 and approximately zero (0) people will judge you. THE HOLIDAYS ARE GREAT. Don’t leave the chocolate addict with any regular ol’ bar  while watching Terri Hatcher find love and… also her real dad. Set ‘em up with Frederic Blondeel chocolate. But be sure to buy a bar (or two.) for yourself.


Happy gifting! And have the tastiest, warmest holiday season from all of us at Bitches Food Club.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s